TikToker Nikki Jabs shares her van life online. But her recent addition to her dating chronicles garnered over 8.3 million views. At first, everything seemed to be going well with her date “Greg”. He was kind, well-mannered, and the couple had fun together. However, one date took a terrible turn. After putting extra effort into her makeup and clothes, Nikki’s date made it clear he didn’t approve of her outfit. The night ended early with Greg sending Nikki home in an Uber.
“He sent me home in an Uber”
The original date plan included dinner and the grand opening related to Greg’s job. In her viral TikTok video, Nikki said,
“I spent 40 minutes on my makeup to meet his friends and co-workers at a grand opening for the retail company he works for. He was too embarrassed to be seen with me in this outfit, so he sent me home in an Uber and went to the opening without me.
“I’m just so sad because I spent so much time trying to look pretty and he sent me home in an Uber. Who does that? He sent me home with a stranger on a Friday night.”
However, this isn’t the first time he made negative comments about her outfits.
“It all started with little comments here and there over the past couple of weeks like ‘Why are you wearing heels? I like it when you wear tennis shoes’,” she said. “Why are you wearing so much makeup? I really like it when you’re natural. He had told me multiple times this week that I’ve been overdressed and has encouraged me to wear a baggy sweater.” 
Reply to @kevinkreates_♬ Night Fever – From “Saturday Night Fever” Soundtrack – Bee Gees
At first, she overlooked these comments, but after getting sent home in an Uber, these nags became more alarming in hindsight. And that fateful date started on a bad note. The moment he got into the car, he began staring at Nikki’s clothes and she already knew what was coming. So she asked him if he didn’t like what she was wearing and he just said, “Oh nothing…” Eventually, he said, “You just look so pretty.”
So Nikki asked if he would be embarrassed if she came to the work function like this and she didn’t respond. “I said ‘do you want me to go home and change?’ and he said ‘I just feel so bad now.’ I said ‘I’m either going like this or I’m not going at all’ and he said ‘Well then can I call you an Uber?’”
Keep in mind, Greg works for an athleisure company and wore “stretchy casual athleisure pants” and running shoes. Nikki concluded, “I’m glad I got out after only three weeks and not three years.” And her fans agreed.
“That is a huge red flag from the beginning. You are pretty and you deserve so much better,” one person commented.
“Remember: This is him in the beginning. This is him on his best behavior. Run,” another wrote.
One person pointed out that if the function had some kind of dress code, he should’ve told her beforehand. Other comments point out his criticisms are more representative of his insecurities than Nikki’s outfit.
In an interview with Bored Panda, Nikki explained “the attention that the story has garnered has definitely kept my mind off of the fact that I just went through a breakup. It has been a whirlwind of a week for me. I am happy to have ended things sooner rather than later as his behavioral pattern of comments about my appearance progressed over time.”
She added that although he tried to apologize and get back together after the Uber incident, she cut off communication with him. However, the most surprising part of the whole experience was that “SO many women not only experienced this type of behavior from their exes but got ‘trapped’ into a tumultuous relationship for many years with their partners.” She’s grateful she got away before this behavior got worse. 
Signs of a Controlling Partner
Controlling behavior is a big red flag in a relationship. Of course, communication and feedback are imperative information. But there’s a big difference between preferring a certain outfit or style on a partner and trying to force them to dress or look a certain way. Often this begins in small ways, such as a little negative criticism, until they can flex greater control over their partner to act a certain way. Chronic criticism itself is a red flag because it can lower self-esteem and make a person feel unworthy in their relationship.
Controlling behavior isn’t just about clothes. It extends to who the partner talks to, where they go, what they eat, and how they spend their money. Often, they intentionally try to isolate their partners from their family and friends to garner more control over them. This type of micromanaging should not be ignored when it first appears in a relationship. More often than not, it’s only going to get worse.
Other signs of controlling behavior include:
- Gaslighting. This is a kind of manipulation that makes someone question their own sanity. For instance, a controlling partner may downplay certain emotions and say their partner is being overly sensitive or overreacting. They may even deny saying things that they said. And of course, they may suggest that their partner is losing their mind. 
- Trespassing boundaries. Controlling partners don’t take no for an answer. Instead, they pressure, argue, or interject themselves into situations they don’t belong in.
- Shifting blame. These partners may have difficulty taking responsibilities. Confrontations are often turned around, making their partner apologize for things they don’t need to be sorry for. For instance, a controlling partner might look through private messages and when called out, blame their partner for leaving their phone unlocked or they fixate on negative comments about them.
- Threatening. This doesn’t only mean threats of physical abuse. This includes threats of leaving, hurting themselves, and cutting off “privileges”. This behavior makes people feel stuck in a relationship because they fear their partner will harm themselves or commit suicide if they left. These threats may be genuine, they might not. It’s a method for controlling people to get their way. But if there’s a real concern about suicide, call a mental support hotline or hospital for help. 
- “TikTok user reveals date sent her home in an Uber over ‘embarrassing’ outfit.” 7 News. Pip Chrismass. November 11, 2021
- “Woman Goes Viral With 7.7M Views When She Shares That Her Date Called Her An Uber To Go Home After He Saw How She Was Dressed.” Bored Panda. Konstancija Gasaitytė and Saulė Tolstych. November 25, 2021
- “Are You in a Relationship with a Controlling Partner?” Psych Central. Hilary I. Lebow. June 9, 2021
- “20 Signs Your Partner Is Controlling.” Psychology Today. Andrea Bonior Ph.D. June 1, 2015