The English language is ever-evolving. Words or sayings have shifted in meaning as time passes, so quickly, in fact, that it can lead to intergenerational tensions. Distinguishing when someone is respectful or rude is very important to us. However, we can get into trouble when people’s beliefs about what is or is not polite differ. In fact, we’re seeing a little headbutting between generations over a simple form of gratitude right now. As it turns out, older generations absolutely despise it when younger people say ‘no problem.’
It’s No Problem
The act of saying ‘no problem’ itself isn’t exactly the issue here. It revolves more around the context of when it’s said. For older generations, saying thank you and you’re welcome have been mainstays in their vocabulary. This is why some grocery store workers might have experienced backlash when they’ve said ‘no problem’ to someone a little older than them. Miscommunications like this happen all the time and unfortunately, sometimes it can be deliberate. The truth of the matter is that nobody is at fault for saying any of these responses.
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What’s The Deal?
The real problem lies with learned habits. Take this CBS article, for example. The author clearly has a problem with younger generations for saying ‘no problem’ at almost every turn in his life. He can’t seem to get away from people who are constantly saying it to him for practically every cause. His frustration is aimed towards the contextual meaning behind saying ‘no problem.’ For him, when someone says thank you, the best reply would be you’re welcome. Further explaining that by saying no problem, you’re insinuating that there is potential for a problem. Like when a waitress says it’s no problem for the type of water you want to drink.
This doesn’t have anything to do with how the waitress is doing her job; it’s how she uses her words. Unfortunately, because the author assumed so much about someone he’s never met, it gave him the idea that this waitress is inept at her job. Oddly enough, by saying no problem, it gave him the immediate thought that there would maybe be a problem later. This is an entirely unfair way to approach a situation that was obviously not problematic at all.
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How Younger People Feel
On the contrary, an article published by Fast Company gives us a glimpse of the other side. The author explains how they were raised to be contextually correct since they were very little. Being taught how to use you’re welcome, thank you, and other formal responses. What’s interesting is that they also absent-mindedly started saying ‘no problem’ to people. When approached by her friend about it, she suddenly realized what she was doing. Trying to experiment with different responses such as my pleasure or all good. These didn’t seem to do them justice in the pursuit of finding the best way to respond to somebody saying thank you.
You Got It
It was only until they started saying the phrase ‘you got it’ did it truly start to feel acceptable to them. However, the context in which you say each of these responses is entirely up to the other person. The way that you perceive another’s response can be blown entirely out of proportion. How could you possibly take any of these phrases seriously without context? If the other person is already assuming so much about you because of a little phrase, what’s the point in saying any of this?
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Ultimately, the author was able to conclude their experiment. Even though they say thank you and get a little reaction from others, they personally feel as if they’ve done their job for the conversation. Regardless of whether others gave a response, they could go on with their lives without pondering the context. Opting out of saying no problem has given them clarity and even more confidence in conversing with others.
Being Diverse With Your Response
Even though you will never truly know what the other is thinking, it’s good to be diverse in your vocabulary. An articulate person should have the confidence to abolish any misunderstandings through communication. Instead of second-guessing yourself, it might just be easier for you to talk about what’s wrong or how you can help. Of course, small talk can be interpreted in a variety of ways. However, it shouldn’t be speculated with such hostile assumptions of the other person.
The Bottom Line
When the author of the Fast Company article asked her friend Oritte Bendory about saying no problem, it confirmed her beliefs. “When someone says ‘no problem,’ it makes me question if my request was a problem, to begin with. It turns what was a positive interaction into a negative one.” (1) Again, this is assuming a lot from a few simple words. However, the emotions that go into them are what convey the entire interaction. Your reaction to the other person’s words is what navigates the conversation. If saying no problem is truly too problematic for you and others, then perhaps experimenting might be what you need as the Fast Company author did. The only way to find out is through trial and error. See how long you can go without saying no problem or any of the other frequently used responses. You might be surprised by others’ reactions to your words.
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Sources:
- “No problem”: Yes, it’s a BIG problem.” CBS News. May 27, 2013.
- “What Happened When I Avoided Saying “No Problem’ for a Month?” Fast Company. Susan Bond. January 23, 2018.
- “Why Young People Say “No Problem” Instead of “You’re Welcome” (and Why Older People Hate It)” Did You Know Facts. Trisha Leigh Zeigenhorn.