Losing a loved one is always a difficult experience to go through. When you are losing them due to illness, that process can often be long and drawn out. There will be moments when you think you are losing them, only for them to bounce back, at least for a little while. The not knowing from one day to the next whether it will be their last can be torture. Medical experts, however, say that there are signs that someone is near death – from months away to even just 24 hours.
Signs That Someone Is Near Death
According to physician Carol DerSarkissian, there are several signs that someone is near death. She is particularly referring to those who are suffering from a terminal illness. This tends to be more clear in adults, especially the elderly. In children and teens, it is slightly less predictable. This is because they tend to stay much more active than older adults even as they approach death and will often continue to ask many hard-to-answer questions. (1)
If you know someone or have a loved one suffering from a terminal illness, this is what you can expect to see in the months, weeks, and even hours before they pass away.
One to Three Months Before
Battling a terminal illness is not easy mentally, emotionally, or physically. Treatments can naturally leave the person exhausted. As the illness slowly (or quickly) takes over their body, you will notice that the person sleeps more and takes more naps. Medications and treatments, again, can also have major effects on a person’s appetite and ability to eat and drink. Again, however, in the case of terminal illness, within the last one to three months, their appetite will wane and they will also drink less. As their body shuts down, food and water become less important. (2)
You will likely also notice some behavioral changes. Much of this has to do with the mental health effects that fighting a losing battle with a terminal illness has. In many cases, this person who was perhaps once very social will draw away from people. They also will tend to lose interest in the things they once enjoyed. A big behavioral change you will notice is their chattiness. Older adults tend to talk less and less. Children, however, actually tend to talk more.
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One to Two Weeks Before Death
As they get closer and closer to their eternal sleep, their body will naturally want to rest more and more. They often feel tired and drained all the time, despite how often they are sleeping. This fatigue will make it hard for them to leave their bed. Their sleep-wake patterns will change and their appetite and thirst will all but drop off. Because they are eating and drinking less, they will pee less often and have fewer bowel movements. Unfortunately, their level of pain will usually increase.
Medically, there are changes within the body. They will experience changes in their blood pressure, heart rate, and breathing. Their body temperature will fluctuate and can cause their skin to be cool, warm, moist, or pale, depending. Congested breathing from the buildup at the back of their throat may also be notable. They may also begin to experience confusion or appear to be somewhat in a daze.
Though watching them have a harder time breathing can be distressing, Dr. DerSarkissian assures us that this isn’t painful for them. Their pain is also manageable using medication, though oral medications may be difficult for them at this time. Your loved one also may experience hallucinations, particularly of friends and family who have already passed away. These are often comforting for them and make them happier. It is unnecessary to try and convince them that what they are seeing isn’t real because it will only upset them.
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Within Days and Hours
There are many physical changes when a person is within days or even hours of death. They will often stop eating and drinking altogether and therefore will also stop peeing and having bowel movements. Pain can also intensify and therefore you may notice them grimacing or scowling because of it.
Other notable physical changes will be teared or glazed over eyes, an irregular pulse with is hard to hear or feel, and a drop in body temperature. In the last 24 hours, the skin on their hands, knees, and feet will often change color to a mottled purplish blue. Their breathing will usually be interrupted by gasping and it will slow until it stops completely.
Though they will likely be unconscious, they can likely still hear and feel. It is important to be there, hold their hand, and talk to them. This will comfort them as they pass on. Many experts agree that it is a good idea to continue talking to them and holding them right up until they have passed. Losing a loved one is never easy, but understanding the death process so that you can spend as much quality time with them as possible is important both for their final days and also for your grieving process.
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Sources
- “What to Expect When Your Loved One Is Dying.” WebMD. June 13, 2020.
- “Other signs of death.” Medical News Today. Tim Newman. March 31, 2016.