two people arguing
Jade Small
Jade Small
August 3, 2023 ·  5 min read

16 Ways To End An Argument, No Matter What

Arguments are a natural part of any relationship; in some ways, they can be considered healthy. They serve as a mechanism to express suppressed thoughts and emotions, bringing them out into the open for both partners to address. However, it’s essential to recognize that arguments can escalate into unhealthy altercations if not handled with care and respect. Knowing how to end an argument gracefully is crucial for maintaining a strong and loving relationship. This article will explore 16 effective methods to resolve disagreements positively, fostering understanding and mutual growth.

1. Take a Deep Breath

couple puts hands behind head leaned on cozy sofa cushions, resting at home

When emotions are running high, taking a moment to breathe deeply can help you regain composure and prevent impulsive reactions. Pausing the conversation briefly allows both partners to collect their thoughts and approach the argument with a clearer mind. This will help it become more of a constructive conversation than a full-blown fight.

2. Practice Active Listening

Young couple arguing in a cafe. Relationship problems.

Actively listen to your partner’s perspective without interrupting or preparing your response. Reflect on what they’re saying to truly understand their point of view. Showing empathy and respect for their feelings creates an atmosphere of open communication.

3. Use “I” Statements

Couple arguing with each other in the restaurant

Playing the blame game is easier for most couples. Most of us don’t realize the pressure we place on our partners when we accuse them of certain behaviors. So, communicate your feelings and thoughts using “I” statements instead of blaming or accusing language. For example, saying, “I feel hurt when…” rather than “You always do this…” fosters a less confrontational environment.

4. Seek a Compromise

Sulk and reconcile Asian couple lover in white t-shirt and grey background.

Approach the argument with the intention of finding common ground and a solution that satisfies both partners. Compromise shows maturity and respect for each other’s needs and wants.

5. Offer a Genuine Apology

Close up view of couple holding hands

If you realize you’ve contributed to the argument or hurt your partner unintentionally, offer a sincere apology. This demonstrates your willingness to take responsibility for your actions and work towards resolving the issue.

Read: Research Shows These 6 Habits Predict The End of a Relationship 

6. Validate Your Partner in an Argument

Man trying to reconcile with woman. Couple making up after quarrel. Husband reaching out to wife

The phrase, “I understand where you’re coming from,” can be one of the most helpful things to say when you and your partner are arguing. If they’re upset about something, show them that you understand their point. It will defuse their anger, and the tension will dissipate. Then, you can begin to break down the aspects that led them to that frustration.

7. You Can Both be Right in an Argument

Excited african American man and Caucasian woman give fist bump

Sometimes both sides of the story are correct. But, many couples struggle to reach this understanding, so the argument rises in temperature as you both want to have the other partner eventually take your side. Agreeing to disagree can be just as healthy as bringing your point across. It shows that you have different viewpoints. After this agreement, you can start to work on ways to get your differences to work together.

8. A Change of Scenery Does the Trick

Enjoying time together. Waist up portrait of happy mature couple walking along the park alley. They are holding hands and smiling

Let’s say your argument started while you were out at a restaurant. Or, maybe you were sitting in your living room together. A change of scenery may very well be in order. So, if you are inside, take a moment to breathe the fresh air outside. Or, if you are out and about, maybe you need to head for the comforts of your own home. This helps break your mind from the moment and gives you a fresh perspective.

9. Keep Close Proximity

black and white photo of male and female hands touching each other's fingers. Hands of man and woman close-up.

This might seem strange to some. When you’re angry, the first instinct you have is to run away or be in your own space. So, you end up yelling at each other from across the room. But you won’t need to yell at your partner if they sit beside you during an argument. Even a simple touch has the ability to calm the most intense feelings. Some say they like to discuss heavy topics with their toes or knees touching ever so slightly. It can keep you grounded.

10. Safewords are Totally Acceptable

Flirtatious female lesbian couple outdoors

According to Barry S. Selby, a renowned relationship expert, having a designated “safe word” can work wonders in de-escalating heated arguments. When either partner senses the situation getting a little too intense, they can use the safe word to signal the need for a pause, allowing both parties to slow down and genuinely listen to each other. It’s a brilliant technique to foster better communication and resolution during conflicts, don’t you think?

11. Avoid Speaking in Anger. Listen First

Doubting dissatisfied man looking at woman

One of the worst things is to give in to the temptation of anger. When you feel your blood start to boil, let it come back down to a simmer before you say anything. Speaking out of anger can lead you to regret something you said because it’s probably more harsh than you intended.

12. Show Your Partner You Heard Them

Young happy couple talking together sitting on a sofa

Let your partner know that their thoughts have been heard. There’s nothing worse than having an overbearing partner who can’t listen and talk over them. Wait for them to finish, then say, “I hear you.”

13. Sit by a Body of Water

Rear view of gay couple enjoying seascape

One of the most healing things known to humankind is nature. It has been known to lighten just about any mood. So, if you are arguing with your partner, tell them you wish to continue this outside. Find a river to walk along or sit by the ocean. The sound of the water will cool down most of the heat and facilitate a healthy space to talk things through.

14. Use Timeouts During an Argument

Tired couple looking exhausted from fighting and taking a break or time out after arguing resting in the living room

Many times, couples cannot resolve the argument from the get-go. So, if things get too heated, and you can’t find a way to meet each other halfway, taking a break might just be the answer. However, it’s crucial to communicate with your partner about when you intend to resume the conversation. That way, you will show your partner you’re not disregarding them. It’s just that you need a moment to think.

15. Are You Willing to Do What You’re Demanding?

businesswoman sitting in cafe, leaning on handrail and table, touching face,

Many times, what you’re asking for in an argument is not what you are capable of yourself. Make sure your argument is reasonable. Think to yourself, are you capable of doing such things? If not, you might need to rethink your perspective on things.

16. If All Else Fails, Take Your Clothes Off

Naturally, this would only work if you’re both comfortable enough to be naked around each other. If you are, this might be the blessing not in disguise you never knew you needed. It’s likely to trigger a few giggles, even if they initially resist it. Eventually, the humor of the nudity will take over, and all anger will dissipate. According to marriage and family therapist Jessica Bowen, “It’s hard to stay mad at someone when they are naked. Ultimately it should make you remember that you are both just human.”

Keep Reading: A Simple ‘Test’ can Help Identify Potentially Abusive Partners Early in a Relationship.

Sources

  1. 7 ways to end an argument with your partner. Global News. Dani-Elle Dubé. October 4, 2017
  2. 15 Phrases To Effectively End Any Argument, According to Psychologists.Parade. Shelby Deering. June 22, 2023
  3. 11 Genius Ways To End Any Argument.Bustle. Caroline Steber. March 22, 2017.