Humans are naturally social creatures. We’ve relied on each other to survive since the beginning of our species’ history. A man wrote an article recently titled “I’ve been lonely my whole life”. The sad reality is that he is not alone in his loneliness – many people face this same problem. What’s worse, there are actual health implications to this worldwide problem of social isolation and loneliness.
“I’ve Been Lonely My Whole Life”
“I’m 54 years old, and recently, I realized I’ve been lonely my whole life,” wrote David Eedle earlier this year. “Somewhere along the line, I didn’t make any friends.” (1)
In a blog post, he explained how he had no friendships from grade school or university, nor did he have any friends from all the volunteering he did through his kid’s school and activities. Though he was in a relationship for nearly 30 years, that also recently came to an end. With children grown and now single, he realizes that he has been lonely for his entire life. (1)
“There is no one I can call out of the blue and suggest we meet up for a beer. I’m envious of people, including my siblings, who have maintained relationships with their school and university comrades and covet the casual texts and calls they exchange with their social circle,” he writes. “I see my now-adult children in touch on social media, shooting the breeze with school friends spread around the world.” (1)
He explained how his family moved around a lot while he was growing up, and for some reason, unlike his siblings, he just wasn’t able to make bonds close enough with others to form true friendships. He said he knows many people through work who he can ask for advice or information on certain things, but no one he can call up for a casual beer or hangout. (1)
He Takes On Part Of The Blame
“The strange thing is, I’ve ignored the loneliness, boxed it away, not called it out, or given it a name. I rendered myself numb to my lack of social interaction. I compartmentalized my life and retreated to the safety of child-rearing and supporting their lives, to the detriment of my own,” he explained. “My loneliness has become a habit, deeply entrenched, difficult to break. Somewhere along my journey, I convinced myself I didn’t need other people.” (1)
That being said, he recognizes that if he wants to make friends and have meaningful connections in his life, he needs to actually try to make them. You can’t just wait for friendships to happen to you, you have to go out and make them. (1)
“It’s time to cut the anchor chain, risk disappointment, risk this being a long process, but perhaps to reach out to people in my life and ask if they’d like to be my friend.” (1)
Read: Photographer Removed Phones From His Images And The Results Are A Disturbing Reality Check!
The Health Implications of Loneliness
As already stated, loneliness and isolation are not good for human health – both mentally and physically. This is particularly evident in older populations and age groups. According to the CDC, older adults who are socially isolated are at a greater risk for (2):
- Premature death
- Dementia
- Heart disease
- Stroke
- Depression, anxiety, and suicide
Many studies have looked at the effect of loneliness on the human brain. They have found that feeling lonely triggers the same pathways in the brain that are responsible for the emotional response to physical pain. This is the emotionally equivalent to feeling actual, real pain. (2)
Loneliness Effects The Brain
Socially isolated, chronically lonely adults perform worse on tests that require them to process information quickly. The lonelier the adult, the worse their performance declines over several years. Scientists believe that loneliness speeds up cognitive decline for several reasons, including (3):
- Physical inactivity
- Symptoms of depression
- Poor sleep quality
- Increased blood pressure
- Increased inflammation
Loneliness is also associated with a buildup of the proteins in the brain that cause Alzheimer’s. (3) These problems were seen to increase greatly throughout the COVID-19 pandemic, when many people but especially the elderly, were extremely socially isolated. (2)
How To Protect Yourself From Loneliness
Loneliness is a tough topic, especially because it is possible to be in a room full of people and yet still feel alone. The older we get, often the harder it can become to make friends. Many adults get very caught up in their lives working and raising children. Then suddenly, one day, their kids are gone, they’re retiring, and their daily social interactions drop drastically.
So what can you do to combat loneliness? Well, first of all, reach out. Don’t be afraid to pick up the phone and call a family member or someone you know and ask them to hang out: Grab a drink, a coffee, go for a walk, whatever it might be. Yes, it is scary and makes you vulnerable, but your situation will never change if you never try.
Another great way to organically meet people is by getting involved in your community. Volunteer, join a club, take a class, or join a sports team. You’ll meet plenty of people in these spaces; all that’s left for you to do is then ask them to hang out beyond that space.
Finally, there are apps and websites out there to help you. Bumble has its BFF option where you can meet other people in your area and demographic who are looking for new friends. MeetUps is another website where people organize events with the purpose of meeting people and having fun. Events range from hikes and athletic pursuits to game nights, dancing, and everything in between. You can even host your own event if you want. However, if you choose to connect to people, remember this: there are more lonely people than you think, so chances are they will be grateful that you reached out.
Keep Reading: The Vitamin Deficiency Up to 80% of People Have
Sources
- “I’m 54 years old & I’ve been Lonely my Whole Life.” Elephant Journal. David Eedle. February 3, 2021.
- “Loneliness and Social Isolation Linked to Serious Health Conditions.” CDC
- “How the loneliness of social isolation can affect older adults’ brains.” PBS. August 7, 2020.